the words you never could say
by zaynub
Summary: A collection of various songfics, vignettes, drabbles, and more. Lucaya, Rilaya, Maya-centric, and possible Joshaya. CURRENT: Maya fell for the girl quickly, but oh so softly.
1. lego house

_and it's dark on a cold December, but I've got you to keep me warm_

* * *

"MAYA! Where the fuck do you think you're going?" Her mom yelled as she stumbled towards Maya, completely drunk.

Maya grabbed her keys, (not that she planned on coming back anytime soon,) and ran to the door. Her mom swiped at her but missed and then staggered onto the coach, apparently too intoxicated to pursue her. Maya ran out into the pouring rain, her boots slipping in the giant puddle forming in her porch, and she kept running until she got to the subway. It didn't matter if her mother was passed out-she still needed to put as much distant away from her mother as possible.

In her panicked haste, she had completely forgotten to tell Lucas she was on her way. She pulled out her phone, realizing she had forgotten to charge it after she had spent all night talking to Riley. Although she appeared okay, she was bursting beneath the seams. She pursed her lips and grinded her teeth extremely loudly, causing a little boy nearby to glance at her as if she were crazy and move away. She hoped she could make it in time to catch her connecting train but of course, luck was not in her favor. As she got off the subway, she climbed up the stairs out into the streets. She sprinted to the connecting train station-just as her train left.

She sat down in the pouring rain, furious at her mother, but more frustrated with herself. She knew she should have left the house before her mother came home. But she loved her mom and she just had to make sure her mom _made it _home. She hated herself for having a heart sometimes. It was one of the reasons she couldn't stand having Lucas around but loved him all the same. She pushed her anger aside and walked over to the timetable. The next subway wasn't until the next hour and she didn't have enough money for a taxi. She plopped herself onto the uncomfortably wet bench and crossed her legs, looking utterly dejected. Drops of rain trickled down her face as she stared off in the distance-at least, she thought they were drops of rain until she heard a strange garbled cry emitting from her own throat. Maya buried her face into her hands as the water continued to pour, whether from the sky or from her eyes she lost track.

As her sorrow washed over her, she didn't immediately register that the rain had stopped-or actually, it hadn't stopped. It simply was not raining over her. She lifted her head up, greeted by the sight of a jacket spread over her head. She tilted her head backwards to see its owner but her view was blocked when the jacket suddenly dropped onto her face, completely obscuring her vision. As the scent infiltrated her nostrils, a smile forced its way through her sadness. She felt the bench groan under the weight as a sudden surge of warmth came closer to her. She lifted the jacket up slowly and was greeted by his endearing smirk.

"Hey there, Clutterbucket," he said as he pulled her into him.

* * *

_if you're broken i will mend you and keep you sheltered from the storm that's raging on _


	2. if i'm james dean, youre aubrey hepburn

_._

* * *

_they say that love is forever, your forever is all that i need_

* * *

"I. Can't. Do. This. Anymore," she gasped to herself. Strangled, throaty sobs escaped her throat as her lungs searched for the air it already had. Meanwhile, her heart was tearing itself apart, trying in vain to find the peace it never had. All she wanted was to run away from everything. Hop on a train and never return. Her ancestors had been good at that-making an impression, then leaving. Her mom inherited the family trait-she never stayed. Especially not when Maya needed her most.

_No-_Maya didn't need her. She was sick of that bitch. She was tired of making excuses from her. Sometimes, she wasn't even sure if her mom loved her. It wasn't love, disappearing for days at a time, only to come home and tell her daughter that she was the reason for all her problems. No, Maya didn't need to hear the "but I still love you, honey." More than anything else, she wanted to leave here. She couldn't stand being so emotionally abused at home. She wanted to get as far away from town as possible. Without giving it much thought, she grabbed an overnight bag and started throwing random clothes into it. Tears streamed down her face as she texted Lucas. She grabbed a few photos of her, Riley, and Lucas, stuffed them into the bag. She scribbled a note on the largest piece of paper she could find. "I'm leaving," it said. She knew her mom wouldn't read it if the paper was just lying around. So she taped the paper to her mom's most prized possession-the various glass bottles stacked inside the fridge. She thought to take a last look at the place but decided against it. She barged out the door, rushing into the underground station. She boarded the train with a cold expression on her face-she wasn't coming back.

**.**

* * *

_please stay,_

* * *

**.**

All he had was one text. "Mom arguing. I'm leaving here." That was all she had said. Sure, it was an explanation, but it was completely irrational. Of course, he blew up her phone in response. He texted her repeatedly and called her hundreds of times. It took all of his restraint to not walk to the subway station and look for her. But something told him it was better to stay home-besides, he had no ride, no money. And if he went to go look for her, there was the possibility that she might come to his house. So he stayed home and waited-no, _prayed,_ that Maya would answer him back within the next hour. If she didn't he would go searching for her, try to bring her back. The bad kind of butterflies flitted in his stomach and out his brain and he started to pace around the living room. His first thought was that she would go to the Matthews' house. He failed to understand why she wouldn't just live there. But he knew that Maya hated having other people take care of her, and even though the Matthews were family, she would still want to be independent. He switched between staring at the old clock and his phone. Neither of them gave him any sign of comfort.

Suddenly, he heard a rap on the door.

**.**

* * *

_please stay, as long as you need_

* * *

**.**

She hadn't even realized where she was going until she found herself at his doorstep. She had been crying on the train and her eyes remained bloodshot but she had realized something on the train and her resolve did not waver. Maya had always stood up for her friends at school. Now it was time for her to stand up for herself at home. She made a pact to herself-she wouldn't leave the people she cared about, the way her mom and ancestors always had.

**.**

* * *

_can't promise that things won't be broken, but i swear that i will never leave_

* * *

**.**

He opened the door and she threw herself into him. He let out a silent but gratifying sigh of relief. She started sobbing but she was beautiful. She looked like she hadn't had a proper meal in days and the bags under her eyes signaled a lot of sleepless nights. But none of that mattered to him. She was still beautiful. And she was here now. She hadn't left. She stayed. Moreover, she had come to Lucas. And that had made all the difference in the world.

**.**

* * *

_please stay forever with me_


	3. and you let her go

_._

* * *

_well you only need the light when it's burning low_

* * *

He was used to shielding her from her mom. He knew how to protect her from herself. But he had never once gave a single thought to protecting himself from her. He had never thought he would need to be strong for her. And his strength had started to run out when he needed it most.

* * *

_only miss the sun when it starts to snow_

* * *

She had been happy. She had been ecstatic that her artwork was finally recognized within her local community. It had brought her great satisfaction to see so much of her original work scattered throughout the city. Though it brought her joy for a little while, it didn't last. She wanted - _needed _\- more.

* * *

_only know you love her when you let her go_

* * *

It was no longer fun and games. He wanted to stay in the same town but she was getting serious. What was once a few measly drawings expanded into her own gallery. What had once been random doodles here and there had turned into full blown canvases. Her career was doing great locally. She didn't have to leave. He begged her to stay. But he already knew the answer. She was going places; he was not.

* * *

_only know you've been high when you're feeling low_

* * *

She got accepted into the prestigious art school. She was happier than she felt in months. She was going into uncharted territory, a change of scene, brand new opportunities. She was exhilarated. Her art was the only thing that gave her mind peace and it was was no longer just a part of her career but her education as well. She knew she made the right choice. She was moving on to bigger and better things.

* * *

_only hate the road when you're missing home_

* * *

They drove in silence. She was happy-he was anything but.

* * *

_only know you love her when you let her go_

* * *

His fists were balled up, tempted to turn the car around. It took all his willpower to keep moving forward. He avoided her face at all costs. When they finally reached the school, hundreds of miles away, he stopped the car and looked at her. It was the happiest he had seen her as of late. Her expression changed his resolve. She was happy. That was all that mattered.

* * *

_and you let her go._

* * *

He gave her a genuine good bye-this time, all traces of sorrow removed. He felt a surge of pride. She was moving on to bigger things. She would do great here. And she would do great alone. This was her journey-not theirs.


	4. Don't Forget

**_don't forget - demi lovato_**

* * *

**_._**

**_._**

**_._**

* * *

_did you forget_

* * *

She walks to the subway in the pouring rain, completely alone.

Her mom doesn't want her.

Her best friend isn't in town.

She has no where to go.

* * *

_that i was even alive_

* * *

She takes a train with no particular destination.

Of course, she ends up in his neighborhood.

* * *

_did you forget_

* * *

She had loved sitting on top of his balcony with the curtain pushed at an angle. She would drape her legs over the railing and paint the skyscrapers and apartments looming down on the passing cars and streets below.

He had always kept the curtain open even when he wasn't home so that she could climb through the fire escape to come and paint.

The exit was now blocked. The curtains fully drawn, only muffled light leaking to the edges of the scaffolding and into the now setting sun.

* * *

_everything we ever had_

* * *

Around Halloween, she had complained about the lack of decorations around his house. His parents weren't big holiday fanatics; all they had was a box of Christmas lights. So they put them up all around the window and outside of the house. It was festive, even if it wasn't the right holiday, she had said.

It took him much longer to take the lights off.

As much as he tried, traces of her still lingered indefinitely. The lights had left dust marks in the brick wall exterior of the apartment. The fire escape had scuff marks exactly the size of her feet. The curtain had a permanent crease.

* * *

_did you forget_

* * *

And of course, neither of them could ever remove the trace of each other from their skin,

* * *

_about me_

* * *

let alone their mind.

**.**

**.**

**.**

* * *

_**a/n**: i really love how this turned out so i might continue this later on with the rest of this song's lyrics._


	5. Little Do You Know

_**a/n:** **THIS FIC IS ACCOMPANIED BY A VIDEO I MADE FROM SABRINA CARPENTER'S VERSION OF THIS SONG. **It would be nice of you all to watch it to get the full effect of this fic. Check it out via my blog on my profile. (Go to my GMW blog, then click Fan Videos.)_

__.__

____.____

_._

* * *

_little do you know how i'm breaking while you fall asleep_

* * *

It didn't matter if he wanted to be there for her—he wasn't, and she couldn't ever allow him to be.

* * *

_little do you know i'm still haunted by the memories_

* * *

She would never forget the feeling of being surrounded by hundreds of people and feeling so alone.

* * *

_little do you know i'm trying to pick myself up piece by piece_

* * *

She taught herself how to tie her own shoes, how to braid her hair, how to kiss herself goodbye and how to do everything else her mother never did for her.

* * *

_little do you know i need a little more time_

* * *

But she found him and suddenly she didn't need to be there for herself as much anymore.

**.**

**.**

**.**


	6. One More Night

One More Night - Maroon 5 (½)

**.**

* * *

_you and i go hard at each other like we're going to war_

* * *

His jokes and shenanigans. Her quips and wisecracks. Their endless banters. Sometimes it turned into more than just harmless bantering. Sometimes they turned into fights that brought a strange fire into their hearts-a fire that demanded to be extinguished _immediately_ by only one means.

* * *

_you and i go rough, we keep throwing things and slamming the door_

* * *

Every aspect of him was always so perfectly sculpted. Except when he was with her. She got under his skin. Every man that looked at her brought out shades of green in him. Anger lit up in him like the fourth of July-and it definitely brought a type of fire into Maya herself

* * *

_you and i get so damn dysfunctional, we stopped keeping score_

* * *

Their arguments never made sense. Frustration built up inside them so high, it could not be gently squeezed out. It had to explode all at once, or forever remain pressurized. It meant that there was no such thing as calm with them.

* * *

_you and i get sick, yeah, i know that we can't do this no more_

* * *

He was her best friend's boyfriend. She was his girlfriend's best friend.

* * *

_yeah but baby there you go again, there you go again, making me love you_

* * *

But god, they got under each other's skin and they could never fully stay out of it, no matter how how many layers of skin grew over it.

* * *

_yeah i stopped using my head, using my head, let it all go_

* * *

Their thoughts were forever rendered incoherent around each other. Not that it mattered. Their heads were not the players in this game. It was their bodies that were the permanent prize winners.

* * *

_got you stuck on my body, on my body, like a tattoo_

* * *

They were just so _good _together. They were both fire and only they could extinguish each other. The heat and their heart ruled over all.

* * *

_and now i'm feeling stupid, feeling stupid crawling back to you_

* * *

Even Mr. Perfect had his imperfections. Even he could not always keep his head straight-if he could even keep his head at all.

* * *

_so i cross my heart and i hope to die_

* * *

But he still knew the difference between right and wrong.

* * *

_that i'll only stay with you one more night_

* * *

Not that it made a difference.

* * *

_and i know i said it a million times_

* * *

He argued with himself every night when she was fast asleep.

* * *

_but i'll only stay with you one more night_

* * *

But his name was written on her bed in transparent letters and he knew nothing would ever wipe it away.


	7. I Want

I Want - One Direction

somewhat smutty-ish warning

* * *

Give you this, give you that

* * *

Sometimes he bought her flowers, sometimes he brought her bottles.

* * *

Blow a kiss, take it back

* * *

One minute she was pushing him against the wall, forcing the air out his lungs and into her airway; the next minute she was walking away, head held up high with that unforgettable smirk.

* * *

If I looked inside your brain

* * *

She was cold, neither her heart nor her brain ruled-only her lust and passion could take the crown.

* * *

I would find lots of things

Clothes, shoes, diamond rings

* * *

But she was an artist and she found beauty in everything that wasn't human.

* * *

Stuff that's driving me insane

* * *

**Her killer heels, her red lipstick, her leather jacket-but she was never impressed.**

* * *

But god she could impress the hell out of him.

…

He walked out of the classroom, finally finished with his presentation, sure he had received an A. He had gone the extra mile, black tie with balmorals. He had failed to notice that half the girls spent more attention on him than the presentation. Regardless, he walked out, a picture perfect image of confidence. As he started walking down the hallway, he heard the rapidly approaching sound of heels striking the ground. His tie was abruptly yanked and he felt himself pulled sideways then forced up against the wall.

Her knee found solace between his legs as her hands formed manacles around his wrist. His head automatically tilted back as her lips left their mark on his cheek. They trailed down to his neck, stopping ever so often to remind him that that this was _her _territory and no one else's. His eyes lost focus, his sensations completely overridden by her gentle kisses. His lips parted slightly, desperate for her lips yet completely satisfied of their current location. She dawdled around to his nape and started kissing him in earnest. He squirmed in response and she took the moment to release his wrists and place her hands on his midriff, slowly moving them up to his tie, where she carefully undid the knot, making sure to lightly brush his cheeks in accentuation with her continuous kisses.

It had only been 2 minutes and his senses had already gone berserk. He wanted to kiss her back more than anything, for lips to meet lips, but as he shifted his head to meet hers, she pulled away with a glaring look. She said nothing, but she didn't need to-it was what she wanted, not he. She pressed a finger to his lips and her hands continued their journey, her finger expertly slicing down his waistcoat to reveal the white collar affair just barely hinting at the contours of his chest. He looked right at her, breathing raggedly on her fingertips, as her hands had at least met his bare chest. She traced the lines on his chest, then with a wicked look in her eyes, plunged her hands downward.

He let out a long moan, in complete disregard to the fact that there was a classroom nearby. (The door was closed, anyway, he absentmindedly thought.) She almost laughed, amused at the sight of Mr. Perfect in such deep distraught. Just as she wrapped her hand around his length, a door was heard opening from a distant part of the hall. His eyes widened in alarm, and, of course, she smirked in response. The distant set of footsteps were getting louder, and Lucas attempted to break away from Maya, but she paid him no need. She rubbed a finger over his tip, enough to make him convulse and let out a half muffled groan, then tugged her hand away. With a beyond evil look in her eyes, she buttoned up his shirt and walked away, her heels clicking down the hallway. She turned the corner as he was left staring at her, shirt hastily buttoned and lipstick all over his face.

* * *

i want, i want, i want,

to be loved by you


	8. Rose Garden

**.**

**Rose Garden - Nick Jonas and The Administration**

* * *

_She was brought into this world_

January 16th, 2001. A winter baby. Complexion as pale as the season itself. Golden blonde locks. A snow princess.

_Out of a beautiful mistake._

"Children" had never been part of the plan. A whirlwind marriage to the ice queen was short lived once the love ran out and her tummy started inflating. But when it did, the mother made the best out of it. She never complained once. She learned to cherish the product of her otherwise regretful marriage.

_When her mom was just a girl_

Young and reckless Katy Hart. But one night, reckless went too far, and suddenly a carefree two had become three.

_and her daddy didn't stay._

But one dropped from the equation, and thus three became two again. The mother had all but abandoned her wild behavior-although, in the years to come, she would never lose her wild personality.

_She was working at age 9_

Her mother was a waitress. She brought her daughter to work whenever she couldn't afford the babysitter-and that was quite often. Maya wasn't one to sit still all day. Adventure was in her blood. When her mom was distracted by the customers, she would wander. The girl found the flower shop across the street. The girl loved it. She became an expert at talking the owner into giving her flowers for free. She sometimes would bring them back to the diner after Katy's shift was over. She was likeable. The florist loved her.

_at the flower shop in town._

At first, the child was just there to stare at the pretty flowers. She knew all of their names, better than the employees themselves. It made good business. She started to come there to look pretty, to feel prettier than the diner ever made her. It wasn't just her mischievous innocence, though; her slippery words became a perfect trap for customers and she found herself with a job.

_Working hard just to survive,_

There was something significant about the number 9. She was brought into the world 9 months after her mother's old lifestyle had begun to fall apart. 9 years after she was brought into the world, she got her first job. 9 weeks of spending more time at "work" than with her mom, 9 more days of a relationship finally caving in on its rocky foundation.

'_Cuz life was throwing her around_

Her mom stopped asking her where she was. The child didn't know if it was because she stopped caring, if she simply couldn't be bothered, or if she just hadn't noticed. It didn't seem to matter much anymore. Mommy came home less and less. The girl wasn't a homebody, and thus she stayed home less and less. Their paths crossed less and less.

_And the rose garden_

But wow, did the flowers keep her company. She thought she had seen them all until she met the brightest, sweetest arrangement yet. Riley Matthews.

_where the rain is falling_

Suddenly, she spent less nights in an empty home and more nights in a crowded home. It was amazing. She felt loved. She felt cared for. She felt watched. She felt like the parents in the house she was in paid attention to her.

_and the thorns are sharpened_

But the contrast between the reality she had known all her life and where she was now was too much. It was like walking from a cozy, heated house into the blizzard, cold and unwelcoming.

_She was young but not naive_

She outshone herself in many ways. The girl was smart. Street-smart definitely. She had an insatiable curiosity, but not an ounce of innocence was found in it. That had long been drained out of her. She expected little. But she accomplished much.

_Always wise beyond her years_

She started to detect problems in her best friend's house before they started to form. She knew, because she had seen it all before.

_Hoping that no one would see_

She was an amazing shoulder to cry on. And she had an amazing shoulder to cry on in return.

_Everytime she dried her tears_

She never liked accepting defeat. Especially in front of her mother. That was an impossibility.

_In the rose garden_

So she turned to her best friend.

_Rose garden._

Because if this was her world, then they both had to be in it.


	9. If That's Not Love

**.**

**..**

**…**

* * *

Her heart was too precious to be wounded. It needed to be protected all costs. _She_ knew that, of course. _She_ did everything in her power to shield the girl from harm. But when the ecstatic girl walked through the door and felt as if her heart had been crushed by a bulldozer, there wasn't just one girl that was devastated; there were two.

—"I wish the world was just you and me."

The girl was too young and naive to fully understand the ache that threatened to pierce her soul. All the girl knew was that she was hurting and that her sunshine and warmth was lying right next to her. The same way _she_ had been there all along, all these years before he had arrived.

—"Then it is."

And that was enough for the both of them.

_If that's not love then what is?_

* * *

The problem with the innocent girl was just that-she was innocent. She didn't understand the concept of trouble. She never understood wrongdoing. She had had no reason to-until her best friend came along. She didn't know that she was destined to be herself, that the other girl was destined to be _her_self, and that their friendship was in the safe, steady hands of fate. She should have known better, she should have known to prevent her best friend from her wrongdoing. But her innocent curiosity got the best of her. The girl was tired of trying to be herself, so she tried to be her best friend; she took the fall with her, rather than stopping the fall in the first place.

—"I just wanna stand by my girl."

But her friend, though wrong in many ways, was never wrong when it came to matters of their friendship. It was always about keeping the girl safe. About keeping the girl happy. Even if it meant that she, herself, wasn't a part of it. So when the girl became unhappy, she took it as her cue to leave.

—"I haven't been your good friend."

She knew long ago that it was in her blood to push people away. It came rather naturally to her to push her best friend away, for the sake of her best friend's happiness.

—"You're my best friend."

Not that the girl cared. The girl would rather be hurt over and over again by her best friend than ever let another soul in as far as she had been.

—"You're not allowed to abandon our friendship."

Hurt was inevitable in any and every relationship. The girl couldn't care less.

—"Riley, I'm pushing you away because I'm not good for you anymore."

It was wrong. So, so, wrong. She had done everything she could to care for the girl's heart but she had screwed up and she had to accept the blame. She had to walk away for once. The girl deserved to have an untainted heart for as long as possible. But the girl thought otherwise.

—"Only I decide that."

Why couldn't the girl save herself?

—"Because, if this is my world now, the first person I want in it is you."

The girl didn't just care about herself; she cared about her best friend too.

And the best love only works if it's both ways.

_If that's not friendship then what is?_

—"Partners?"

—"Forever."

_If that's not music then what is?_

**...**

**..**

****.****

* * *

**a/n**: hello everybody! hope you enjoyed this little songfic/vignette. it's based off of my "If That's Not Love" video which you can checkout on my YouTube.

Note: This was previously in my "If That's Not Love" series but I decided to merge it with this series as they are pretty similar.


	10. I fell in love with you on these nights

**.**

**..**

**…**

* * *

It was the day that her best friend felt her first ever heartbreak that she too felt her first ever touch of envy.

Maya had been walking with Riley to class when suddenly Maya saw her best friend's boyfriend with another girl. She turned abruptly and attempted to shield her best friend but it was too late. The big bright brown eyes that had been so full of light had lost their spark and the spring in her step had been taken away. It was in that moment that Maya knew she would take better care of Riley than _he _ever could.

It was that day that she her best friend was no longer just "Riles" or "Riley" but sweetie, honey, babe, baby girl, and everything in between.

It was the night that her best friend came home with tear stained cheeks and she felt her heart almost break at the sight of it that she knew it was more.

It was the night that her best friend braved her fears and slept over at Maya's for the first time that she felt herself falling; first in love, then asleep.

It was the nights that their sleepovers in Maya's tiny bed went from innocent toe-touches and quiet giggling fits to endless caressing and night-long conversations that she knew it was deeper.

It was the night when her best friend chose her and her problems over a romantic date with _him _that she felt her first inkling of hope.

It was the night her best friend was sick and crying over her break-up that Maya showed up with cough medicine and a care package. Riley had opened the door stuffy-nosed and slit-eyed but everything had cleared up when she saw who it was.

"Exactly what I needed."

She hadn't been talking about the care package.

And that was all Maya really needed.

**...**

**..**

**.**

* * *

_**a/n:** I really enjoyed writing this one, and I hope you all enjoyed. I've been suffering from writer's block lately but I just wanted to do something vignette-style for them._

_Note: this was merged from my series of Rilaya songfics, If That's Not Love, into this one, Girl Meets Songfics_


	11. gossip

_**a/n:**_ _this is basically my little vignette take on girl meets yearbook. this just sorta hit me really quickly and left just as fast so i'm sorry if it seems unfinished._

* * *

**gossip.**

**.**

**..**

**...**

There's something about Lucas and Maya. Maya and Lucas. Friar and Hart. The whole school knows it - except them and their best friends.

That's the thing about gossip. You never know what's true, because it's usually from the people on the outside. But that's the thing about gossip - it's from the people no the outside, who aren't blinded by the inside.

So I guess you could say everyone pretty much knew that Lucas and Maya were inevitable. In middle school, there was that one cute crush Riley Matthews had on Lucas and of course it was all the rage but something about it just didn't stick with anyone.

It was one of those couples where everyone generally supported but no one really went crazy over. They were definitely poster worthy-the knight in shining armor with her handsome maiden. Yet they never seemed to be anyone's favorite couple.

And then there was that Maya girl. Riley's best friend. She had the mom that took care of her but never did any "mom" things. Half a mom, as she used to say. Until, that is, Shawn Hunter came into the picture and suddenly she had half a mom and half a dad. Sooo i guess you could say she had 1 whole parent. Sure, some ends didn't tie up and she couldn't come to terms with certain other daddy issues, but she did look a whole lot more loved and happier after that.

Maya and Riley were solid, everybody knew that. But it was impossible not to ignore the way Lucas sometimes stared at Maya. They were known for their constant witty banter. People liked being around them-Maya, because she was fun; Lucas, because, well, he was cute, and he was pretty fun when he was with Maya. But god, no one could ever stand them longer than a few hours. Their little game of fighting and messing with each other was exhausting to the audience, but never to them. Their conversations were effortless; the same could not be said for Riley and Lucas.

So, when it came down to the polls, it only made sense that Lucas and Maya were voted favorite couple.

Except Riley refused to even see it.

(She blinked repeatedly at the group of people who told her. "He's gonna be a veterinarian. She's my astronaut and I'm the horse," she declared evenly at the people who told her. "I'm gonna go now," she announced to no one in particular. She walked around mindlessly.)

Except Lucas didn't see it that way.

("What?" He questioned. "Yeah, man, you and Maya." He blinked. His eyebrows lifted up and his eyes opened in shock. He turned around abruptly to find the girl-except he wasn't sure which one he was searching for.)

Except Maya didn't see it that way.

(She laughed when someone told her. Then a different person told her a few minutes later. Her joking demeanor dissolved in an instant and she was left staring daggers at no one in particular. Then the guilt shrouded her. Then pure panic set in and she set off to the only person that mattered at that moment-her best friend.)

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_**a/n: **__as always, sending love through reviews makes me very happy. sorry for the long wait!_

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	12. can we start a family

_prompt: which one initiates talk about starting a family together? - __**Lucas.**_

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It's not that Maya didn't want a family. Oh, no, she definitely did. She just didn't want it to break the way hers did. Lucas knew this. He had known this since middle school, when he had first met the ever elusive Katy Hart. That was the day he got mad at his best friend Farkle, for the first time, because his questioning of Maya's artwork had gone a little too far. That was the day his subconscious vowed to protect her.

So, suffice it to say, Lucas Friar thinks long and hard before he brings it up.

**...**

He places the pancake batter scattered with chocolate chips onto the pan, humming to himself. He waits patiently for the smell of coffee to seep into their room and wake her up. He doesn't have to wait long-her senses are as sharp as a knife.

"You're up early," as her face appears in the doorway, staring at him in annoyed amusement. "Too early," she grumbles.

"I have work soon, Clutterbucket. You know that."

She twitches irritably at the old family name. He _still_ uses it years and years later. But she loves it all the same-or rather, she loves the way he smirks ever so slightly whenever he says it.

"Every day," she complains as she walks into the kitchen.

He flips the pancakes onto the plate then turns toward her.

"Your favorite," he murmurs as his lips approach her forehead and leave a gentle kiss. He sets plate down.

"Thanks, Huckleberry," she teases, morning grogginess gone.

She eats in silence, staring out the window. She notices the way the birds are lined up against the fence today. God, she's never been much of a fan for birds, but she loves how they look against the scenery. And she absolutely adores their silhouettes in her photographs. He knows this all of course-he knows she's painting pictures inside her head right now. So he leaves her be, admiring her intensity in silence.

After the pancakes are finished, she still stares intently at the birds. He glances at the clock, figuring now is the best time as ever. He doesn't want to shake her out of her stupor, so he starts softly.

"Maya," he questions tentatively.

"Hmm?" She says, tearing her eyes slowly away from him. Her eyes are still unfocused though, and he knows she's found a new way to experiment with photography.

"I was thinking..." he bites his lip contemplatively, for she still hasn't completely looked at him yet. His pause gets her attention though.

She turns to him and raises her eyebrows, "Yes?"

He sits next to the chair beside her and wraps his arms around her, pulling her onto his lap.

"It's just that... your photography has been amazing. You've been doing so good in it, both creatively and financially. And I love being a veterinarian, seeing all the animals there is so amazing," he hesitates.

She rolls her eyes impatiently, "Where are you going with this, Huckleberry?"

He smiles at her impatience. "You know what I love the most about working at the vets? I get to watch cats give birth to little kittens and take care of them. I love taking care of the cats, and I love watching them take care of the kittens. I just love watching animals start a family."

He pauses again as she stares silently at him. He wonders if she knows where he's headed. "Maya, I want that, with you."

She laughs. "Lucas, that's cute and all, but you know I'm allergic to cats."

He looks down and chuckles gently at her misunderstanding, but his seriousness appears again. He pulls her closer, and the intensity causes his words to settle a little bit deeper in her mind. "Maya, I want to start a family with you. You and me, plus _our_ own babies. Human ones."

"Oh." She says softly, eyebrows raised in surprise. She looks away from him, staring blankly into space.

He gives her a couple minutes, allows the thought to settle in. Then he kisses her cheek and continues.

"I'm here. You're here. We're not going anywhere babe. We're husband and wife. That's already 2 parts. A mother and a father. That's more than either of us had, at first."

She looks at him. (It's easy for her to forget about his splintered relationship with his father, and her partial relationship with her mother, not when they've been living such a blissful marriage for so long.)

He squeezes her tightly in a warm embrace, "I don't wanna do anything that we're not ready for yet. But I would like it if it happened one day."

She hasn't said a word, but he takes that as a good thing. She hasn't said anything _discouraging_ yet, after all. And she's always vocal about the things she doesn't agree with.

He takes her hands and gently lifts her chin up, peering at her eyes intently. "I have to go to work now. Just think about it, love."

They're still holding hands as he slowly walks backward, towards the door. As his fingertips slowly release hers, he gives her a soft smile, a little bit sad and a little bit hopeful.

Just as he is preparing to walk out, she softly murmurs to herself a lesson she learned long ago.

"Maybe if you don't hope for too much, but let yourself hope for one thing, it might actually happen," as a twinkle forms in her eye.

Lucas closes the door with a smile on his face.

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_a/n: hope you all liked this. xoxo_


	13. fourth time's the charm

**The Three Times Maya Hart Realized She Wasn't In Love (and the one time she was) **

**One.**  
It happens fast. A drunken night. A sober regret. Something neither of them mention ever again. Her best friend's boyfriend. God, how cliché could she be? But then it happens again and this time she thinks it is love. It isn't. But it doesn't take being in love to break your heart. For her, it's _not _being in love that breaks her heart. She was never in love. She just liked the attention.

**Two. **  
The second one comes along; she thinks it's different-that _he_ is different. Because he never gave her attention. Hell, he never even gave her the time of day. But this way, she could tell herself it was him that she liked and not the attention. It started out superficial; he was the shiny toy in the sea full of dull high school boys. And she made it clear she wanted to shine. He had warded off her attempts at first, but she still got to know him better than any other girl that tried to associate themselves with him. Her best friend's uncle. She supposed that was better than her boyfriend.

**Three. **  
It's hard to say what happened here. She always knew he was sweet. Then, suddenly, he got a lot cuter too. She never dated him per se, but he knew her like the back of his hand and she knew him for as long as she could remember. A night of broken hearts and lonely drinking. The boy who never found anyone and the girl who found everyone. It happened fast. Her best friend's ex-one day after Riley broke up with him. God, did it ever end?

**Four.**  
Countless broken relationships later, she realized something a part of her must have known all along-she was never _in love_ with any of them. She _loved_ a select few of them but they were never the one.

A part of her knew it all along, and maybe that's why she never really _wanted_ her relationships to work out. She had never said it out loud before, she had never really felt the need to.

Until the day she did. When she got "broken" scrawled on her forehead at some drunken pity party years later in college, she was reminded me of who had helped her when she was, and who had took her out of it. And so she decided to admit what she never could before.

**. . .**

The TV fills the room with a soft, low buzz of irrelevant voices advertising their latest product. The two girls lounge around lazily on the couch, watching reruns of a show whose name they never knew. Maya's head rests on Riley's lap, face down, appearing at rest but inside, her heart rate spikes ever so slightly.

"Hey, Riles?" She says softly, turning her head in Riley's lap to make eye contact.

"Yes, Maya?" Maya's tone captures her attention, causing her to set her phone down and tilt her head to Maya.

Maya hesitates slightly, and that's how Riley knows it's important. Maya never hesitates to tell Riley _anything._

Riley's fingers automatically reach for Maya's.

"Peaches," she says, savoring the nickname from so many years ago, "what is it?"

"I'm bi."

Riley blinks. "Oh," she says.

A smile cracks across Riley's face. "Oh my god, that's great! Yay, I'm so proud of you. Did you just come out to me? That is soo cool," she gushes out excitedly.

Maya smiles at Riley's enthusiasm, shaking her head in amusement.

"How did you know?"

(It's funny because Lucas knew already. Farkle knew already. Josh knew already. So why didn't her best friend know?)

Maya doesn't quite know the answer herself, until she makes eye contact with Riley and suddenly realizes-the one thing in common with all of her past relationships was the person right in front of her.

Her best friend.

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**a/n**: _this is overall really short and it sounded a lot better in my head but ya here you go. not too proud of the ending but definitely dig the beginning. lemme know what yall think_

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